What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
