Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
