party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
