Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
