HIV tests are more positive than that guy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
