I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
