3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
