I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
