i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
