I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
