Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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