so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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