Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
