I cockslap morals
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize