Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
