it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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