just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
