wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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