yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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