it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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