Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
