I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
