then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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