I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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