his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
