I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
