The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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