i will never coherently bang her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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