Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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