You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
