I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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