Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
