Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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