I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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