I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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