Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My vagina is officially offended.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize