do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
