This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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