whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
