Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize