If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
