best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
