So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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