Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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