Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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