I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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