We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
