He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
