So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
