I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
