Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
