i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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