u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
