I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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