i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
