so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
