did you get engaged???
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
