According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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