i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
