I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
