Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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