And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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