I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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